September 2006 Archives

The Wicker Man. This one looked good going into except for starring Nicolas Cage, the one emotioned actor. This one was kinda weird. Nicolas Cage went to some private island to help find a missing girl that turned out to be his daughter that was getting ready to be sacrificed to some pagan god to get a better honey crop. Well that is what they wanted you to think at least. I figured out the ending well before the end but it was an okay movie. Had they ended the movie about 5 or 10 minutes sooner it would have been alot better. The last few minutes seemed like it was just too much and it was there solely to explain it to those in the audience that couldn't figure out what happened at the beginning.

The Covenant. This one was the one sci-fi movie that I managed to go see and it was okay. The special effects were alright the story line was yet again very predictable but enjoyable. There was one thing I didn't see coming but it wasn't enough to make me want to watch it again. I would not recommend this movie.

The Black Dahlia. This drama was based off a real event that happened in 1947 and I really liked it. It followed the story of two cops that were investigating the case and the shady underworld of hollywood. I think I will be buying this one on DVD because it was definitely rewatchable. There were a few funny jokes thrown into the mix that caught me offguard that really made it worth watching again.

Jackass: Number Two. Okay I know you can't believe I not only went to see the second Jackass movie but I am actually admitting to seeing it as well. This was everything you expect from jackass, gore and stomach cringing stupidity. Notable "stunts" would have been the terrorist taxi and the sign in the hall. Those two stood out as really funny. The firehose rodeo looked like alot of fun actually.

School for Scoundrels. Okay I saw this today and it is fresh in my mind. This is a chick flick 100%. It follows the pathetic life of Jon Heder and his quest to become more confident and less of a wuss. It did end up with the predictable ending that I didn't much care for but it did also go on to tell about what the other characters ended up doing ala Animal House. I would probably see this again given the right company but definitely not on my own or would I stop flipping through channels to see it.

There you have it my summer of movies all finally addressed. I have some other things in my head that I really need to get out there but it is going to take some care and careful telling to keep any names from being mentioned or any specifics from being told. Short version is I am currently depressed and very unhappy with alot of things and I currently don't have a way to fix it. Oh look it is like a teaser for some TV show. Come back later for more of my miserable failure!

I used to be much better about putting up the movie I was going to see on saturday and my thoughts on it after it was done. I just haven't done it for the last three months or so and I have been seeing movies somewhat regularly. So here it is a list of all the movies I saw over the summer and what I thought of them. Looking over the list it looks like it was the summer for comedy and drama. I will try to cover these in order of release date so I don't miss any.

First up we have Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Okay what is there to say it was a sequel to a movie I hadn't seen. I am told there were some inside jokes relating back to the first but for not seeing the first I can say this was okay. The ending sucked, oh wait there wasn't one... Guess that is why it sucked. Number three coming soon. I'll probably skip it since this wasn't extraordinary but just okay.

You, Me and Dupree. Alright this chick flick was my own fault. I should have seen the signs before going. It is a story about a guy and his chick and how the best friend destroys everything. But to me it looked like a comedy the best friend is setting fires, breaking stuff, crashing into things and the dude rides a bike. Anyway it is a good date type movie. It had enough comedy to keep me from walking out but enough sap that a date would be good with it.

Clerks II. Again another sequel, this one is in color. First thoughts going into this were "Why color? The first held up so good in black and white." I actually was in Nashville and saw this with Dolemite, just a non-interesting side note. Okay this movie was a riot. Kevin Smith is a genius but people that watch his movies all know they fall in two categories for everyone. You either fully love the movie or you flat out hate it. Ala Jersey Girl he put in enough of a love story here to try and keep the women in the audience from storming out during the donkey show. For the most part though it was defiinitely not a date movie in the traditional sense. From Pillowpants to Silence of the Lambs references this was a non-stop riot. I still can't believe he did the tuck. Wow. Definitely go see this one.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. This was another slapstick Will Ferrell mess. I see why people like his movies because there is no thinking involved it is straight low brow whitless humor. The stereotyping of Nascar fans really made me laugh but not really at the movie. I laughed a little but it isn't something I am gonna stop flipping channels to watch.

Snakes on a Plane. I said I wasn't gonna go see this one but I did. ummm yeah... well... ugh. Samuel L Jackson and snakes on a motherfuckin' plane. Yeah... if it weren't for this looking so bad and the people on the internet making such a big deal about this bad concept it wouldn't have seen any money in the box office. This is truely an excellent example of the power of stupidity on the internet.

Beerfest! First of all I saw the preview for this with Dolemite at Clerks II. I am a broken lizard fan and this was most excellent. A secret underground beer drinking competition. They have good looking girls walking around like miss hops and miss yeast; heh, miss yeast. Anyway this was much better than Club Dread and very much on the same level as Super Troopers. I will be buying this on DVD as soon as it is out and watching it a few more times.

Alright that covers up through September and I have to get going now if I am gonna catch School for Scoundrels. I will post about the last five when I get back this afternoon.

I had my second appt with the allergist today and got the results of the blood test I had done two weeks ago. Shellfish - negative!! Wooooooo! so I might not be allergic anymore. He advised me to still avoid it but if I want to test it to test it a little at a time and work the amounts up slowly. Tonight is test #1. Notlarry and I are heading to the thai restaurant here in town tonight and I will be sampling either shrimp or crab. Wish me luck.

Dear stupid,

I am very sorry that you haven't the mental capacity to master the technological wonder that is a cellular phone. It will be okay, I am here to help you where the schools and common sense have failed you. If you call my cell phone and get voicemail that means I wasn't available to take your call. Do not try calling back the second you hang up as I will probably still be doing whatever it was that had me busy 10 seconds earlier. By all means do not keep calling over and over for the next 20 minutes that will just make me bash in your face with a 20lb sledge the next time I see you.

As a recap for the retarded. "Leave a message" means just what it says. I will call you back when I get some free time. Now go die in a fire.

Regular radio is like when you go to meet a girl's parents. You have to watch your language and be careful wiih what you say. XM is like when you break in later and fuck her mother.

--Anthony Cumia

Baby sitting and viagra? tune in at 11!

--Jim Norton