August is half over and schools are starting back up bringing distraction for some and stress for me. I am back on the road 5 days a week again and with that time I do a good bit of thinking. I am still trying to work through my personal problems and it really isn't going well at all. The pills I am on have helped to a degree but I know they can't solve the root problem. Best that I can say is they are evening out my moods but it still seems that if I have a good day it is almost always followed by a really down day where I can't function. Not sure what else I can say, everytime I mention this topic in any detail I get angry phone calls telling me to shut my mouth.
Moving on. I got a bill from my chiropractor the other day and it was because my insurance benefits have been used up for the year already which sucks because I am still in a good deal of pain. I have also completed all of my physical therapy which has left me in more pain than before I started. The new bed isn't helping with the sleeping either. I am going to have to see the shrink to get this crap out of my head and get me back to normal.
Other news... I have gone to Atlanta a couple of times to get away and just to be around friends. That drive kinda sucks but I did have a good time so it was worth it. I made taco submarines for Anna but she was just being poliye when she said they were okay. Most people have liked my cooking it was a little disappointing that she didn't like them that good.
I joined Aftermath a couple months ago when Nocturn died and since then I have seen most of the current endgame content which has been a lot of fun. They're raiding environment is much more strict from that of Nocturn but it hasn't been bad. I am trying to come up with anything to keep from writing the last thing down but I might as well to get it out of my head. Again I have found myself dwelling over the idea of suicide as an option. The idea comes up at least once a day usually more but it is different now than before. It still upsets me to think about but it has changed from a just get it done at home and escape to a inflict as much emotional / mental trauma to someone else as possible. &lmost like some type of sick revenge to make the last thought of me be a blood stain on the ceiling. Well there it is minus the imagery that accompanies it over and over in my head. Not that it matters much but if I didn't write it out I feel that it would keep bothering me.
Please don't try to talk to me about this because I don't want to hear it. It is bad enough I have to deal with it without your two cents.
Current Mood: empty
Current Music: Revelation Theory - Selfish and Cold
